


Keeper

by sparklepox (travelingpsycho)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-16 00:31:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2249214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/travelingpsycho/pseuds/sparklepox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Minseok can't see Lu Han's pretty face or the stars in his eyes, but <strike>he has friends to tell him about it</strike> that's not what really matters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keeper

Minseok is eleven when the accident happens, so he's young enough to quickly adjust to life without sight but old enough to remember what he's missing. There are things that are hard, things he wishes he could do that he can't, things he wishes he could see, but by the time ten years have passed, he's learned to live with it.

It's that year, when he's twenty-one, that he meets Lu Han. The Chinese boy has moved into the apartment three doors down, but Minseok doesn't know that until he comes out of his own apartment too quickly when he's late for class and slams right into someone. That someone yells out what sounds like a curse, but in a language Minseok doesn't understand.

"Sorry," Minseok says. His cane went flying during the collision so he feels around for it until the other person puts it into his hand.

"No, I'm sorry." It's a male voice, with an accent he can't place. "Are you okay?"

"Thanks." Minseok gets to his feet and turns to lock his door. "I'm fine. Are you? Sorry, I'm really late for class."

"It's okay," the other man assures him. "No harm done. See you around." He catches himself and starts to say something different, but Minseok is already hurrying to the elevator and doesn't hear a word.

 

The next time he meets Lu Han is two weeks later as he's coming home. He's usually better at listening for signs of people around him, but his mind is on the confusing lecture that he just came out of and he doesn't notice that there's anyone else in the hallway, so he jumps when Lu Han greets him. "I'm sorry," Lu Han adds at his reaction. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm not...you just startled me," Minseok grumbles, embarrassed. It takes him a moment to realize that the voice sounds familiar. "Are you the guy from the other day? Sorry, I never got your name."

"Lu Han," the man tells him. "I just moved here a few weeks ago."

Minseok bobs his head in greeting. "Kim Minseok. Nice to meet you."

"Hey, do you want to, um..." Lu Han starts, then hesitates.

"What?"

"Are you busy?" Lu Han asks. "It's just that I haven't met any of my neighbors, except you, I guess, and I was wondering if you wanted to come over? For a little while?" He doesn't even give Minseok a chance to answer before he continues, "But you're probably busy, so nevermind, forget—"

"Yes," Minseok cuts in, trying not to sound as amused as he is.

"Yes?" Lu Han echoes like the word confuses him.

"Yes, I'd like to come over," Minseok says. "That sounds fun." 

"Great!" He doesn't need to be able to see Lu Han to know he's smiling, the excitement in his voice easy to read. "My apartment's this way."

"Which number?" Minseok asks as he walks in the direction of Lu Han's voice.

"309." Minseok knows to stop walking when he hears Lu Han fumbling with his keys just in front of him. "Go ahead," Lu Han tells him.

Minseok reaches for the doorframe as he steps inside. The overall layout of Lu Han's apartment should be the same as his, but he's had to navigate his friends' messy apartments enough times to know to be careful. He toes his shoes off and steps cautiously out of the entrance so Lu Han can come in.

"Sorry about the mess," Lu Han says, closing the door behind him. "I haven't finished unpacking yet."

"I can't see it anyway," Minseok says lightly. It's easier if he jokes about it. Strangers who don't know yet how to act around him are less likely to get weird.

"Oh!" He's not sure if Lu Han has only just realized that hey, maybe the guy with the weird cane who never looks at me is blind or if it just hadn't occurred to him that a messy apartment could be a problem for someone who can't see what's in his way. "Sorry, uh, why don't you wait a second? I'll move some stuff."

"You don't have to," Minseok protests, but Lu Han is already moving past him into the apartment, so he leans against the wall and listens to Lu Han rearranging things.

After a few minutes of that, Lu Han says, "Sorry. I wasn't prepared for company. Here." He takes Minseok's arm and guides him forward. Minseok doesn't like being led around, but under the circumstances, he doesn't complain as Lu Han brings him over to what turns out to be, when Minseok sits down, his bed. Minseok puts his backpack on the floor and his cane next to him and sits back comfortably.

There's the scrape of chair legs on the floor as Lu Han sits down. "I probably shouldn't be inviting anyone over when I've got almost nothing here. I think I have some tea in the fridge?"

Minseok laughs. "We could've gone to my apartment. But that's fine. I don't need anything."

He's not sure what to do in a near stranger's apartment with nothing to keep them occupied, but they end up talking for over an hour, sitting like that with Minseok on the bed and Lu Han on his chair. Minseok's never been a chatterbox, especially with new people, but Lu Han is easy to talk to and they have a lot in common. He tells Minseok how he came from China to study Korean, and how he loves soccer and pop music and fashion.

In turn, Minseok tells Lu Han how he's studying business and would like to own a coffee shop someday even though his parents would prefer something a little more respectable, and how he likes music too and performs with a dance team at his university.

"But how can you...?" Lu Han starts before catching himself. "Um, I mean, nevermind."

"You can ask," Minseok teases gently. In the grand scheme of tactless questions people have asked him, this is nothing.

"I guess you don't need to be able to see to dance, but it seems like it would be hard with a team..."

"It is," Minseok admits, "but if I'm really careful about step sizes, I can usually stay in my place. The others help me out and don't get too annoyed if I run into them in practice."

"That's cool," Lu Han says. "That you do it even though you can't..." He awkwardly trails off again. "Sorry, I keep saying dumb things."

"I've had worse," Minseok assures him, flashing a smile in Lu Han's general direction.

They end up ordering food for dinner and listening to music on Lu Han's computer. Lu Han sings along sporadically, quietly at first but with more confidence as he forgets himself. His voice is warm and rich and different from how he speaks, and Minseok enjoys the sound of it enough that he doesn't start singing himself until well after they've finished dinner.

When he does, Lu Han breaks off abruptly. Minseok stops too once he realizes Lu Han's no longer singing, embarrassed. "What?"

"Nothing," Lu Han says. "I like your voice."

"Me too," Minseok says without thinking. "Your voice, I mean. You're a good singer."

Lu Han makes a hard to describe sound that Minseok thinks means he's pleased but self-conscious. Minseok fleetingly wishes he could see the expression that goes with it and then wonders at himself. It's been a long time since he had a thought like that.

It's late by the time Minseok finally tells Lu Han, "I should probably go. I've got some homework to do tonight. Thanks for having me over."

They exchange numbers and make promises to hang out again, and Minseok leaves feeling happier than he can really explain.

 

They hang out regularly after that, usually in one of their apartments but also going out sometimes. Minseok learns his way around Lu Han's apartment, and Lu Han makes an effort to keep things neat for Minseok's benefit, even if he doesn't always succeed. Minseok takes Lu Han to his favorite cafe to drink coffee and eat cake, and Lu Han takes Minseok to the park where he likes to go running and they walk around and then sit on a bench and talk while they soak up the sun.

Lu Han is good at putting his foot in his mouth, about Minseok's blindness and any number of other things, but he never means anything bad by it, and he's so earnest about trying to make up for his mistakes that Minseok can't be offended. He's earnest in general, making Minseok feel that he really appreciates his friendship and enjoys his company even though he doesn't say it in so many words.

He's touchy too, once they get comfortable with each other, even more so than Minseok is used to with his other friends. At first it annoys him because he thinks Lu Han is babying him, protecting and helping him in a way he hasn't needed since he was newly blinded and still just a kid, but then he realizes that that's just how Lu Han is.

When he puts an arm around Minseok's shoulders as they walk, it's because he likes the closeness, not because he thinks Minseok can't get around without his help. The brush of his fingers on Minseok's waist as he walks past him is a casual greeting touch, not to keep Minseok from running into him. The way his hand lingers on Minseok's when he hands him something is because he enjoys the contact, not to make sure he won't drop it.

That's just how Lu Han is, and Minseok has to struggle to remember that because sometimes he wants those touches to mean more than they do. Usually, he's just happy to have a good friend, but sometimes when Lu Han sticks too close to him as they walk around or when he rests his hand on Minseok's knee as they talk, Minseok can't help thinking that he'd like Lu Han to touch him more than that, maybe even to kiss him.

But Lu Han never says anything and Minseok doesn't want to screw everything up by making a move when he has no reason to believe Lu Han's interested, so he tells himself to be content with friendship and not think about anything more. Friendship like this is already enough.

 

Minseok has his group of friends and it's not like he's hiding Lu Han from them, but somehow he's been hanging out with Lu Han for almost three months before he brings him along to a gathering. In theory, they're getting together to watch movies, but in practice that means there will be a lot of drinking and stupid antics, which Minseok warns Lu Han about as they go over to Baekhyun and Jongdae's apartment.

"Sounds like my kind of party," Lu Han says, laughing.

The very first thing anyone says when they arrive is "Damn, who's the pretty boy?" Baekhyun is close enough after opening the door for them that Minseok can easily reach out and hit him.

"Were you raised in a cave?" Jongdae asks, coming up behind him. "Hi, hyung," he greets Minseok, and then, to Lu Han, "Sorry about my roommate. We're still trying to teach him manners after finding him in the woods."

Lu Han laughs at that, but a more restrained laugh than Minseok is used to hearing from him. He's nervous around all these new people.

"Come in," Jongdae continues. "There's room on the couch." That's for Minseok's benefit; Jongdae is always tactful like that. Minseok knows his way around well enough to find the couch and sit down, and someone moves over so Lu Han can sit next to him.

"This is my neighbor, Lu Han," Minseok tells the group. "And you can introduce yourselves because I don't know where everyone's sitting."

Baekhyun introduces himself without any further questionable comments, and then Jongdae, Chanyeol, Junmyeon and Kyungsoo. As soon as that's out of the way, they return to their usual chatter. Lu Han sticks close to Minseok during dinner and the first movie (which the others insist on narrating, supposedly for Minseok's benefit but really as an excuse to make neverending commentary), unusually quiet, but by the time they've finished the movie and made significant progress toward getting drunk, he's laughing his usual enthusiastic laugh.

"Has anyone ever told you that you make really weird faces when you laugh?" Chanyeol asks him.

"Does he?" Minseok asks, his own tongue loosened by alcohol.

"He really does," Chanyeol confirms. "Like his jaw is unhinged or something. It's not a good look."

"I get that a lot," Lu Han says sheepishly. Minseok tries to imagine it but he can't. He doesn't even know what Lu Han looks like, except that Baekhyun thinks he's pretty. What does that even mean? Pretty usually means girly looking, but from what Minseok's felt of Lu Han's body during their casual touching, he's not built like a girl at all.

A few hours later when they've given up all pretense of watching the movie on the screen and Lu Han has been dragged away to do who knows what in the kitchen, Baekhyun tells Minseok, "I wasn't kidding about the pretty boy thing. He looks like an idol who's spent a ton of money on the perfect face. Where'd you find him?"

"I told you, he's my neighbor." It comes out a little grumpy. Minseok doesn't usually care about not knowing what people look like—he met Baekhyun last year so he's never seen his face either—but it's frustrating to hear how good looking Lu Han is when he can't see it for himself.

Baekhyun pats him on the shoulder. "Relax, hyung. I'm not going to steal him from you."

"What?" Minseok's still not drunk enough to not be startled by that.

"Oh, you're not...?" Baekhyun sounds genuinely surprised. "I thought something was going on, with the way he looks at you."

"What do you mean?" Minseok asks, trying not to get his hopes up too much.

"When he looks at you while you talk, I can practically see the stars in his eyes. Even when you don't talk. There's no way he's not into you."

"Really?" The excitement in his voice is embarrassing, but Minseok is drunk enough not to care.

"Really," Baekhyun confirms, sounding amused. "He hasn't said anything?" Minseok shakes his head. "Well, maybe he's shy or he thinks you're not interested. You're a lot less obvious. But I guarantee it, if you make the first move, he'll be all over it. All over you, I should say."

Minseok hits Baekhyun again on principle, but he can't help smiling. Baekhyun's a brat, but he wouldn't lie about something like this, at least not to Minseok, who he treats with more respect than the younger guys. If he says Lu Han is interested, then there's got to be something there. But then... "Is he really that handsome?" he asks.

"Pretty," Baekhyun corrects. "Or beautiful, if you like that better. And I say this as a straight guy." Minseok coughs. "A _mostly_ straight guy. Girls would love a face like that, and probably guys too."

"Oh." It's stupid, probably, but Minseok's heart sinks when he hears that. If Lu Han's so good looking that he could have anyone he wanted, why would he want someone who can't even appreciate his pretty face? Minseok's hardly such a catch, so surely Lu Han can do better.

"Don't be an idiot," Baekhyun cuts off that train of thought. "He likes you. If you don't go for it, I'm never going to let you hear the end of it."

"Fine, fine," Minseok grumbles, pushing aside those thoughts. Hopefully Baekhyun is right about Lu Han, and even if he's not, Minseok has no choice but to give it a try since Baekhyun really will pester him until he does.

 

They all end up crashing at Baekhyun and Jongdae's that night, and in the early afternoon the next day, Minseok and Lu Han make their groggy, hungover way back to their apartment building. "Your friends are nice," Lu Han comments as they walk. "Even Baekhyun."

Minseok laughs at that. "He's a good guy. He just has no filter between his brain and his mouth."

They go their separate ways to shower and rest a little, but around dinner time, Lu Han calls. "I'm bored. Do you want to come over?"

Minseok's still kind of tired, but he has nothing better to do with his evening, so he says, "Okay."

They sprawl on Lu Han's bed and watch DBSK's new music video. Or, more accurately, Lu Han watches and Minseok listens and then asks Lu Han to tell him about the dancing. Lu Han doesn't know the words for any dance moves and is bad at describing them, so he tries to move Minseok's arms and legs to mimic them. It ends in them collapsing on the bed, laughing hysterically, with Minseok having no more idea about the dance than when they started. Somehow, he doesn't mind.

Only when they've stopped laughing does Minseok realize how close Lu Han is. Minseok's on his back, but Lu Han must be on his side, close enough for his breath to hit Minseok's ear. Slowly, very slowly so he can gather his courage and Lu Han can move away if he wants to, Minseok rolls onto his side toward Lu Han. They're even closer now, so close Minseok is afraid to breathe.

Lu Han doesn't say a word, but he doesn't move away, so Minseok reaches out a hand. He's afraid he'll do something embarrassing like poke Lu Han in the eye, but his hand lands safely on Lu Han's cheek. His skin is soft and smooth under Minseok's fingers as he brings his hand slowly down toward Lu Han's mouth, stopping just at the corner of his lips. He doesn't know what he's trying to do; he can't _feel_ pretty through his fingertips.

Lu Han doesn't pull away, and Minseok feels him take a shaky breath in and out. "Baekhyun told me you're beautiful," Minseok says quietly, afraid of breaking the moment. "Not handsome. Beautiful. Pretty."

"People say that." Lu Han's voice is low and soft too. Minseok doesn't move his hand away even as he talks. "I don't know. I don't think guys are pretty."

Minseok files that away for future discussion before continuing, "He said girls and guys would love a face like yours. You could probably have your pick."

The corner of Lu Han's mouth pulls away from his fingers. Minseok thinks he's frowning. "What are you saying?"

"He also said that you look at me with stars in your eyes. That he's sure you're interested in me."

"I am." There's no hesitation, but it's so quiet Minseok automatically leans in a little closer, and Lu Han's breath catches.

"But why?" He doesn't know if it's a good idea to ask, but he needs to do this before he can put his heart out there. "If you're so hot you could have anyone, why would you want me? I can't even see you."

"Yes, why would I want someone who likes me for my personality instead of my pretty face?" Lu Han says it dryly, but then he takes Minseok's hand, pulling it away from his face, and squeezes, saying what his words don't. He's not joking around.

"How do you know I don't like you for your body? I don't have to see to know about your muscles." Minseok's voice is still quiet so it takes Lu Han a second to register that he's teasing, and then he bursts out laughing.

"Ouch," he says, but he obviously knows Minseok doesn't mean it. When he's stopped laughing, he continues, "Anyway, I don't know if Baekhyun or anyone ever told you, but you're not bad looking either."

"Am I pretty?" Minseok blurts out the joke to hide his self-consciousness. Baekhyun has actually told him before that he's hot enough to bag more dates so why doesn't he try, but it's very different hearing it from Lu Han, especially now, still so close.

"No. You're handsome." Lu Han's voice has gone low again and Minseok thinks he might have forgotten how to breathe. There's silence for one long moment and then Lu Han asks, "Can I kiss you?"

"Yeah," Minseok answers too quickly, but Lu Han doesn't laugh. "Yeah, you can."

Now Lu Han brings his hand to Minseok's face, cupping his jaw as he presses their lips together. Minseok's eyes drift closed even though it makes no difference as the kiss slowly deepens, their lips parting and tongues finding each other. It's nice, unhurried, like they have all the time in the world to do nothing but explore each other's mouths. Lu Han has yet to let go of Minseok's hand from before, but Minseok brings his other hand up to slide into Lu Han's hair, feeling it soft between his fingers.

Minseok has no idea how long it's been when they finally pull apart, just barely, Lu Han still so close that Minseok can feel his smile against his own lips. "Let's...do that a lot more," he says, and Minseok laughs.

"Yeah, we can do that."

 

It was nice having Lu Han as a friend, and it's even nicer having him as a boyfriend. It's not like Minseok has never dated—he had a girlfriend in high school and a boyfriend his first year of university, and the occasional more casual thing—but he doesn't date a lot, and it's been a while. He's not the kind of person who _needs_ to have a significant other, stubbornly independent, but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel good.

Lu Han never lets him feel insecure. He doesn't so much put his affection into words, no more than when they were just friends, but he's forever touching Minseok, his hugs and kisses and neverending casual touches saying that he wants him and cares for him. Minseok tries to do the same, even though it comes less naturally to him, and he hopes Lu Han understands.

He doesn't feel insecure except when their kisses start to go farther into unfamiliar territory. The thing is, he and his high school girlfriend were both too shy to do much beyond kissing and hesitant touching, and Minseok broke things off with his boyfriend when things got too heated, lying to his friends that they'd had a fight and decided they weren't compatible.

It's stupid because he doesn't let not being able to see get in the way of most things in his life, but first-time sex is awkward enough without added complications. He's put it off and it's only gotten more awkward as he gets older. Now he's twenty-one and Lu Han's probably not a virgin and he probably thinks Minseok isn't either and it'll be weird. He doesn't want to admit the truth, but he doesn't want to look like a clueless idiot or make Lu Han think he doesn't want him either. He does want him; he just doesn't know if he's ready. Or, more accurately, he's not sure he's ready to risk embarrassing himself for it.

He tries not to think about it, and for a while it works. As at the beginning, Lu Han is hesitant to make the first move, so he doesn't push. But self-control only goes so far, and they're kissing on Minseok's bed one evening when he feels Lu Han getting hard against his hip. It's warm enough that they took their shirts off before they even started, and Lu Han's hands are resting on Minseok's back as Minseok lies half on top of him, his own hands making a mess of Lu Han's hair. They've been kissing for a long time and it shouldn't be surprising, but Minseok tenses before he can stop himself and he's sure Lu Han notices.

They break the kiss, breathing hard, and Lu Han says, "Hey, um..." but doesn't seem to know where to go with it.

Minseok should probably move. He should think of something to say to make this not awkward, if such a thing exists. He should do _something_ , but all he does is stay where he is, half on top of Lu Han with his hands in his hair.

"Minseok..." It comes out in a whine and Lu Han draws in a sharp breath. Minseok wonders if he's blushing. He moves a hand down to Lu Han's cheek and feels it warm beneath his fingertips.

"I could..." He swallows hard. "I could touch you. If you want."

Lu Han's breath catches again. "You don't have to if you—"

Minseok cuts him off. "I want to." It's true. He's not very confident about it, but he does want this. He wants to touch Lu Han and see what sounds he'll make. He rolls off of Lu Han, sliding a hand down his bare chest to his pants. He does it slowly so Lu Han can stop him if he wants to, but he doesn't, lying still and quiet as Minseok unzips his pants and tugs them out of the way. He's wearing boxers underneath and Minseok pulls those down too.

He's sitting up at Lu Han's side now and he puts a hand on his hip, fingers skating across his abs and then down. Lu Han moans when Minseok wraps a hand around his erection and even though it's quiet, he loves the sound of it. Lu Han's almost fully hard now and Minseok quickly strokes him the rest of the way there, shifting to get a better angle. Lu Han's cock feels different in his hand than his own, and he'll have to figure out what makes him feel good.

Minseok's heart is pounding even though he tells himself he's being stupid, but the sounds Lu Han makes as he touches him tell him he's doing something right. He's not loud, but his soft gasps and moans are encouraging, and after a while he starts to buck up into Minseok's hand. It's doing things to Minseok too, his breath coming faster from more than just nerves.

It startles him when Lu Han gasps out, "Minseok, please..." and he stops abruptly.

"What?"

Lu Han, never good with words, takes his hand and pulls it away. For a second, Minseok thinks this means he screwed up and Lu Han's had enough, but then the bed creaks as Lu Han sits up and moves to straddle Minseok's legs. "Like this," Lu Han murmurs, bending down to kiss Minseok.

It's a lot more intimate like his, Lu Han half sitting on him and half grinding against him, moaning into Minseok's mouth. It's good, Minseok able to feel what his touch does to Lu Han much more, but Lu Han pressing against him is a delicious kind of torture. He picks up the pace until Lu Han is less kissing and more gasping against Minseok's mouth, more and more until Lu Han comes with a cry, clinging to Minseok's shoulders.

Later, maybe this will feel like a bigger deal, but right now Minseok is mostly thinking about how unpleasantly tight his pants are and how much he really wants Lu Han to touch him. "Please," he whispers, and Lu Han moves off him with unexpected speed, helping Minseok strip off his pants and underwear.

Even if he is, presumably, more experienced, there's nothing particularly elegant about the way Lu Han touches him, but Minseok is already so turned on after Lu Han's earlier grinding that he doesn't need anything fancy. Lu Han wraps his free arm around Minseok to pull him close and Minseok muffles his moans against Lu Han's shoulder until he comes, shaking in Lu Han's hold.

Lu Han kisses him as he comes down, both arms now wrapped around Minseok, and it doesn't feel like a big deal after all, only feels good.

Later, when they're back on the bed after getting cleaned up, Lu Han wraps himself around Minseok the way he loves and Minseok tolerates (only a little different since this time they're naked), and he murmurs against Minseok's ear, "I thought maybe you...I don't know. But that was really...I mean, was it good?"

He sounds so unsure, and in his fuzzy post-orgasmic drowsiness, Minseok finds it adorable. "Yeah, it was good." Maybe it's that drowsiness that makes him do it, or the happy, contented feeling that goes with it, but he continues, "I'm sorry if I made you think...whatever. It's just that I haven't..."

"Haven't what?" Lu Han asks, confused. He would be.

Minseok sighs. It's probably better to get it out in the open, but he's not out of it enough to not be embarrassed. "I haven't had sex," he reluctantly clarifies. "I mean, I've messed around a little, but..."

"Oh," Lu Han says, which tells Minseok absolutely nothing about what he thinks of this.

"Oh?" he prods.

Lu Han's arms tighten around him. "Just oh. I didn't know, but I guess that...makes sense."

"Don't go thinking it's some tragic story of the blind guy who can't get laid." Minseok doesn't know why he's getting defensive, but he's never liked being pitied and he especially doesn't want it from Lu Han. "I mean, it's kind of...it's complicated, but it's...I just haven't. That's all."

"Mm," is Lu Han's noncommittal response.

Minseok doesn't know what to make of that, but if he keeps talking he'll probably just embarrass himself further, so he keeps his mouth shut.

Lu Han is quiet for a long time, but finally he says, "I'm not going to make a big deal out of it or feel sorry for you." He laughs, the awkward laugh he does when he's nervous. "You're too hot for me to believe you couldn't get laid if you really wanted to." Minseok laughs at that too, even though his cheeks feel warm. "I just...there's no hurry. No pressure. I mean it."

Minseok turns in Lu Han's arms so he can kiss him, partly to put an end to the awkward conversation and partly to express the thank you he doesn't want to put into words. Lu Han doesn't say anything more, and Minseok just hopes he understands.

 

It's probably not intentional, because Lu Han said he wouldn't make a big deal of it and he must be trying, but he backs off noticeably after that. It's like he's worried that any touches, even the kind of simple ones he was so fond of before they got together, will make Minseok feel pressured. It's sweet, almost, but mostly it's frustrating because Minseok _wants_ Lu Han to touch him like he did before and then some, and he doesn't want every little bit of physical contact to feel like a big thing.

He could call Lu Han on it, but that'll probably make him overthink everything and increase the awkwardness. It'll be better to just act, to make it clear what he wants. After that, hopefully, Lu Han won't have any reason to worry about touching him anymore.

A week later, they have dinner in Lu Han's apartment, talking about nothing in particular the way Minseok finds it easy to do with Lu Han. They climb on Lu Han's bed after, planning to watch (or listen to, as the case may be) a movie, but Lu Han only gets as far as asking, "What do you—" before Minseok interrupts, "Forget the movie."

There are a few long moments of silence, Lu Han probably very confused. "Then what do you want to do?" he finally asks.

"Is your laptop on the bed?" Lu Han starts to stammer out another confused question, but Minseok just says, "Move it, if it is."

The bed creaks a little as Lu Han moves. "Okay, it's gone. What's going on, Minseok?"

Lu Han isn't quite next to him, but he's close enough that Minseok can tell he's there. He reaches out and finds Lu Han's shirt, fisting his hands in it to pull him closer. Lu Han's leg bumps into his knee, and Minseok climbs into his lap. "Minseok?" Lu Han asks again, and Minseok answers him with a kiss.

Lu Han kisses back immediately and doesn't stop until Minseok presses close against him. "What are you...?" is all he manages to get out before Minseok kisses him again, but this time he plants his hands on Minseok's shoulders to hold him back. "What's going on?"

"You've barely touched me all week and I've had enough of that." He grabs Lu Han's wrists to pull his hands away, and holds on to them as he feathers kisses down Lu Han's neck.

"But, wait, I didn't... I thought you..." Lu Han seems to be rapidly losing his train of thought as Minseok's mouth presses more insistently into his skin. "Wait, Minseok, we shouldn't—"

"Yes, we should," Minseok interrupts. He lifts his head and kisses Lu Han's jaw, then once, lingering, on his mouth. "I want to do this. Don't you?"

"Yes, but—" Lu Han tries again.

"But nothing. Shut up and touch me." Lu Han lets out a startled-sounding burst of laughter at that, but he does as he's told, bring his hands to Minseok's waist when Minseok lets them go, fingers slipping under Minseok's shirt. That's not enough, so Minseok tugs off his shirt and waits until Lu Han does the same to kiss him again. This isn't new, kissing as their hands roam over bare skin, but the anticipation adds to it, makes Lu Han's touch set his nerves buzzing more than usual.

Minseok is straddling Lu Han's hips now, and when he grinds down experimentally, Lu Han moans into his mouth. That's nice, so he does it again, feeling Lu Han getting hard beneath him. "Fuck, Minseok, don't tease," Lu Han groans.

"Not teasing." He scoots back enough that he can unbutton Lu Han's pants, carefully pulling the zipper down before dragging them down his thighs. He keeps kissing Lu Han the whole time, feeling every little catch in his breathing. It's good, makes him feel more confident, though he had no reason to doubt that Lu Han wants him. He moves in close again and grinds down harder, less fabric between them, and Lu Han's fingers dig into his back as he mutters something in Mandarin.

"What was that?" Minseok asks, teasing.

"Uh...stop that, more or less." Lu Han doesn't sound so unaffected, his voice wavering.

"You want me to stop?" Minseok drawls. He's a little surprised at his boldness, but it's fun to play with Lu Han.

Lu Han lets out a cute little whine. "You know what I mean."

Minseok leans in for a kiss, landing on Lu Han's upper lip. "Take your clothes off and then we'll talk."

Lu Han moves out from under him to do that, so Minseok takes off the rest of his clothes too. Lu Han is quiet after, not moving, and Minseok is confused as to why until Lu Han whispers, "You're really..."

"What?" Minseok asks when he doesn't finish.

Lu Han chuckles softly and moves close enough to give Minseok a kiss. "It's probably good that you can't see me staring. I've been told it's creepy."

"Why are you staring?"

"Because you're hot," Lu Han murmurs, up close.

Minseok laughs, but it's more self-consciousness than because he thinks it's funny. "I'm glad you think so," he tosses back before pulling Lu Han in for a deeper kiss.

They end up lying down on the bed, legs intertwined as they kiss hungrily. Lu Han's growing erection is pressing against Minseok's thigh, and he's equally turned on. He's a little nervous, but mostly he's just eager. He wants Lu Han, and he trusts him enough not to worry.

Lu Han moves against him, rocking his hips into Minseok, and they both gasp for breath. Intrigued, Minseok mimics the action, and the way he rolls his body makes Lu Han moan. "Fuck, you're good at that."

"Dancing," Minseok points out, hearing the strain in his own voice.

"Do it again?" Lu Han asks, letting out a higher-pitched breathy moan when Minseok does. One more time and Lu Han groans, "Wait, wait."

He's enjoying Lu Han's reaction, but Minseok stops, only objecting when Lu Han moves away from him. "What are you doing?" The bed creaks as Lu Han gets up.

"I need to get stuff. I didn't know I should be prepared today."

"Sorry, I'll try to schedule sex in advance next time," Minseok says dryly, and Lu Han huffs. He's not far away, rustling in a drawer, it sounds like.

"Okay, there." Lu Han approaches the bed again and asks, "Do you, um...?"

'Um...?" Minseok prods.

"Do you know how?" Lu Han asks, sitting down next to Minseok.

"Yeah." Only in theory, but it can't be that hard, right?

"Good, good. And, um, what about...?"

Minseok can't help it; he bursts out laughing. "For fuck's sake, Lu Han, who's the virgin here? Just say it."

"Do you want to top?" Lu Han sounds a little sulky about the teasing, but mostly just sheepish.

"Do you want me to?" Minseok kind of assumed it would be the other way around this time, given his inexperience and Lu Han's hang ups about masculinity, but he can't say he's opposed to the idea.

There's the pause before Lu Han answers that usually means he's forgotten and is trying to answer with a gesture or a facial expression. "If you want," he says eventually. "But the way you move your hips, I think you'll be good at it."

Minseok smirks at him the way he might when he's turning on attitude for a performance. "I'll see what I can do."

Lu Han groans again. "You're horrible."

Even so, he doesn't hesitate to press a plastic tube into Minseok's hand. He finds the top and opens it, pouring some of the contents over his fingers. "How should we do this?" he asks as he slicks up his fingers.

There's the sound of Lu Han moving, and then he says, "Like this," facing away from Minseok now.

Minseok puts down the bottle and lifts his clean hand and finds Lu Han's thigh next to him. He slides his hand up the back to Lu Han's ass and gives it a pat. "How do you like it?" he asks. It's partly a genuine question and partly to distract himself so he doesn't worry about doing it right. "Fast and rough? Nice and slow?"

"Less talking, more touching," Lu Han whines. "Don't keep teasing."

"Fine, fine." Minseok brings his other hand up and rests it on Lu Han's lower back, then moves down, down until he finds the right spot. "Okay," he says by way of warning before pushing the tip of his middle finger in. It takes a little pressure to do it and Lu Han gasps at the touch, but he doesn't object, so Minseok keeps it in.

He's not even trying to tease, but he doesn't want to hurt Lu Han, so he starts to move his hand slowly until Lu Han says, "You can go faster." 

When he does, Lu Han's breathing quickens, his leg trembling under Minseok's other hand. Minseok presses a kiss to the top of his thigh and says, "Talk to me. Tell me what you want." He does want to know so he can make it good for Lu Han, but he also wants to hear him, more than just those soft gasps. He wants to know what his touch is doing to Lu Han even though he can't see his face.

"Another...finger," Lu Han grunts, strained.

Minseok pushes a second one in, but then he keeps his hand still. "Don't stop," he tells Lu Han.

That gets another groan, which Minseok finds he quite enjoys. "Move, please." Minseok does, moving his fingers around until he feels Lu Han shudder. "Right there, that's good," Lu Han tells him, unprompted. "Feels good. Hurry, more, please." He already sounds pretty far gone and Minseok likes it, so he pumps his hand faster.

"Minseok, touch me?" Lu Han gasps out soon after. It takes Minseok a second to realize what he means, but then he reaches around to touch Lu Han's cock lightly. Lu Han moans heavily and his body clenches around Minseok's fingers. Minseok's own body reacts too, and he realizes he's getting impatient to move on himself.

"More," Lu Han says soon. "One more finger, hurry, I'm almost ready, please." He's babbling, desperate, and Minseok wants him bad. He adds a third finger and pumps his hand quickly until Lu Han moans, "Okay, okay, enough."

A little whimper escapes Lu Han when Minseok pulls his hand away, which is a lot hotter than it has any right to be. He sits up and presses something else into Minseok's hand—a condom, he realizes— before getting back on his hands and knees. Minseok opens it and rolls it on a little clumsily, shivering at the touch of his own fingers, then slicks himself up with a little more lube. "Ready?" he asks, finding Lu Han's hips with his hands and moving between his legs.

"Yeah." Lu Han's voice wavers. "Yeah, I'm ready."

"Okay." Minseok takes a deep breath, then chokes on it when he pushes in because _fuck_ , that feels good. Even after that stretching, Lu Han's body is tight around him, tight and hot and perfect and Minseok wonders distantly why the hell he didn't try this sooner.

"Move," Lu Han tells him. "You can move."

Minseok doesn't need to be told twice. He starts to rock his hips, pushing deeper into Lu Han's body each time. Lu Han's moaning, muffled like he's pressing his mouth into something, and Minseok's not sure they're good moans until Lu Han pushes back into him and Minseok lets out a moan of his own as he goes balls deep.

There's no more talking for a while. Minseok thrusts in a steady rhythm, and he gets a hand on Lu Han, stroking him more slowly. His impulse is to go all out, but he wants to make this last if he can, for both of them.

He doesn't know how long they've been at it before Lu Han lets out a particularly loud moan and says, "Wait, Minseok, stop." He does, reluctantly, but before he can ask what's wrong, Lu Han explains, breathless, "I want to see you."

They pull apart and Lu Han moves, probably turning over. Minseok stays where he is until Lu Han grabs his hand and pulls him closer, in between his spread legs. "Like this." He puts Minseok's hand on the back of his knee. His legs are up, held there by his hands, and Minseok leans on them as he finds his place and pushes in again.

It doesn't make much difference to Minseok, but Lu Han seems to like this, and his moans are louder now with nothing to muffle them. With Minseok holding his legs up, Lu Han starts to touch himself, and the shudder that runs through his body at the first touch very nearly has Minseok coming right then.

"Hurry," Lu Han says, practically begs, but Minseok hardly needs the encouragement. He moves his hips faster, getting messy now, but he doesn't care and it doesn't sound like Lu Han does either. He's trying to hold on until Lu Han comes, and he just barely manages it, his control shattering as Lu Han cries out and clenches tight around him. Minseok thinks he makes a sound too, but he's hardly aware of it, only of the pleasure coursing through his body as he comes inside Lu Han.

Then it's over and he pulls away, letting Lu Han's legs down gently. He fumbles with the condom taking it off and makes a mess, but Lu Han just mumbles, "Forget it," pulling him up the bed to lie next to him. They kiss, soft and sated, and Minseok feels sleepy but also very happy. "So?" Lu Han asks, lips on Minseok's cheek.

"Not bad." Lu Han laughs and gives him an incredibly half-hearted shove. Minseok smiles as he brings the cleaner of his two hands up to Lu Han's cheek. He brushes his thumb over Lu Han's cheekbone, then moves down to cup his jaw as he kisses him again. "Thank you," he murmurs. He's not sure what he's thanking Lu Han for, the sex or his patience or their relationship in general, but it feels right to say it.

Lu Han's answering smile is big enough that Minseok can feel it under his fingers and against his lips.

 

Two weeks later, they're hanging out with Minseok's friends (who by this point are really Lu Han's friends too). Lu Han's in the middle of some sort of drinking game with Chanyeol that Minseok is wondering if he should save him from, but he concludes that Lu Han can (probably) take care of himself.

Someone plunks down next to him on the couch, and a moment later, Baekhyun says, "You know, before I thought you and Lu Han-hyung were dating because of the way he looked at you all starry-eyed, but that was nothing. These days he looks at you like you're pretty much the most amazing thing that's ever existed."

"And it's gross?" Minseok supplies, knowing how Baekhyun's teasing works.

Baekhyun laughs, drunkenly loud. "Incredibly gross. But damn, if someone looked at me like that, I'd think I should really keep them around."

Suddenly, another body lands on Minseok's other side, where there isn't nearly enough room for a person. "What are you doing?" Lu Han asks, or at least Minseok thinks that's what the syllables he drunkenly mumbles mean. Obviously the drinking game has been successful.

Minseok scoots over just enough that Lu Han tumbles onto his lap, laughing as he wraps an arm around Lu Han to keep him from falling on the floor. "Baekhyun was just telling me about the gross way you look at me," Minseok tells him, "like you think I'm amazing."

"It's not gross," Lu Han grumbles but doesn't argue with the rest. Minseok suspects he follows it up with sticking his tongue out at Baekhyun.

Minseok chuckles. "It probably is, but that's okay." He brings a hand up to turn Lu Han's head enough for them to kiss. ("No PDA in my apartment!" Jongdae yells from across the room.) "Because you know what? I think you're pretty great too." He wouldn't normally say something like that, but he's drunk too, and it's the truth.

"I'm leaving in a second because I don't need to sit next to you while you make out," Baekhyun says, sounding way too amused for his own good, "but I think I should tell you that Lu Han-hyung's smiling so wide his face is about to break, so you shouldn't say anything else nice to him or it might actually happen."

"Got it," Minseok says shortly. "Go away."

When he's gone, Lu Han whispers, "He's right."

"All right, I'll be careful," Minseok says, grinning too. "Maybe insult you now to balance it out."

"Just kiss me." It comes out whiny, and Minseok thinks about teasing, but he wants the same thing. He kisses Lu Han again, ignoring the noise all around them, and thinks that Baekhyun is right about more than just Lu Han's expression: he should keep Lu Han around, and since it sure looks like he can, he will.


End file.
